Oh Holy Night......

Wow, it's been a while since I've written. Mainly 'cause I tried a new job, dayshift, surgery, circulating nurse.....must I go on? I had no time to turn around, much less think or write! I missed my nightshift, glad I'm back. So thankful my bosses complied. Not sure what I would have done..... tough it out I guess. Sure wouldn't be the first time for that! I had NO idea what was going on in the world, I checked the news regularly while working at night, caught up on the checkbook, etc. Having 4 days off in a week ain't too bad either. Guess I just had to try something different to see if it would work......it didn't. Well, can't blame me for trying. I did learn some things about myself......I'm not who I used to be. I'm afraid of change, isn't that funny? Since every day is different, every hairstyle I wake up with is different...... unique to say the least! Usually every meal I eat is somewhat different....esp if I eat out, even at the same place! My kids......look different everyday...bigger.....taller....stronger. I.......well...wish I were more different than I am, but mostly......it's just me I see in the mirror. So why? Why be afraid of REAL change, we practice for it everyday? It is one of my life mysteries. How we can be so different yet we never really change. I want to really change is the thing, but get so stuck in the ordinary level of my changing existence. I wanna change like Ebeneezer Scrooge! Wake up singing, happy to be alive, just breathing, smiling and giving people raises......and the holiday off!!!!! (If I were the boss!) Otherwise, just being unbearably giddy, ok with my weight, ok with my mistakes, hmmf at my crazy hair. Why not? Do I have to be visited by three ghosts? Actually, the past visits me quite often, and the present is currently hanging around, but the future........hhhmmmm.......it is mine to make of it what I will. So why don't I????? It's just a change of mind, I thought myself into being depressed.....even melancholy....so I can think myself right out of it too!!! Just thinking of my blessings alone can spark my change. I am healthy, have 3 beautiful children, a husband that loves me, a good job, a home, a car, clothes, food in my fridge, arms, legs, mind, feet that work, I can smell, hear, see, feel, think clearly (most of the time), sleep well, wake up, sit with ease, stand with ease, walk, run if I want to.....if I want to, talk and communicate fairly well....could use some tweeking, take pictures, paint, write, type, sing, dream, have faith, hope, and I can love.........with all of my heart. Wow, what a list to start with.........my spirits are lifting as I write. I can't leave God out, because I believe he gave me the ability to do and feel all of these things. I have a truth in my life that is constant, never wavering, that is reason enough to smile, be giddy, sing, and just be happy to be alive, Ebeneezer................eat your heart out!